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Heroes vs. Villains - Part 1
(Fade to inside a prison, CHEF HATCHET and a guard walking past a row of prison cells, Chef is carrying a manila folder. Chef walks past 2 cells containing a one-eyed prisoner and what looks like the Insane Psycho Killer with a Hook) Psycho Killer: I’M INNOCENT I TELL YA! INNOCENT!!! (The one-eyed prisoner makes kissy faces at Chef and the Guard. Chef’s face grows increasingly concerned when he hears a familiar voice) Voice: (Off-screen) And the Crusty Cockroaches have a big lead over the Soiled Stinkbugs! Prisoner: (Off-screen) Cram it, McLean! (Psychotic laughter) (Pan over to reveal none other that CHRIS MCLEAN, wearing an orange jumpsuit locked behind a glass door in a highly secured cell familiar looking map of Camp Wawanakwa hanging on the wall, overlooking two bugs staring at each other) Chris: Lightning slips past Duncan, and the heat is on! Yeah, look at that! That's what I'm talking about! (Finally notices Chef, glaring at him) Well, well, well, look who finally came to visit me after a whole year. Chef: C'mon. You've finished your sentence for dumping toxic waste. Chris: (Pouting) Whatever, think I'll stay right here; got everything I need. Including (Pulls out a cashew nut with a drawing of Chef’s face on it) Chef 2.0! I made him from a cashew. (Chef slips the manila folder through the slot into Chris’ cell; Chris grabs it suspiciously) What's this? Chef: Yo contract. The Producers green lit another season, so you in? Chris: (Smiles) it is on! (Chris’ smile twinkles) (Opening Credits) (Zoom in to Camp Wawanakwa, cut to Chris on the still rickety Dock of Shame) Chris: Welcome to Total Drama All-Stars. After my involuntary yearlong vacation... I really need to be in a familiar environment, surrounded by the people I love ...to hurt. (Evil laugh) It's a condition of my parole. Except for the hurt part, eh, that's all McLean! (Strolls down to the edge of the dock, where the Drama Machine from season 3 is waiting, along with a familiar briefcase) So, I'm bringing back 30 TD All-Stars to battle it out in the most dangerous, death-defying, One Million Dollar competition, ever! (The robot holds up the open case, where the wind blows a few bills away. Chris then addresses an incoming helicopter) and here they are now! From Revenge of The Island, Say hello to... (The door to the chopper reveals an apprehensive looking MIKE) Chris: -Multiple Mike! (A hand shoves Mike off the chopper) AKA, Chester, (Mike gasps, switching personalities) –Svetlana (He gasps, switching personalities again) Vito, (His hair slicks back and his eyes narrow) and Manitoba. (Mike seemingly reverts to normal, though Manitoba's scream of “Crikey!” gives him away. He splashes into the water) Mike's crush, pushover turned powerhouse, Zoey. (ZOEY looks worried for Mike) Zoey: Huh, Mike! (Dives) Chris: Athletic non-supporter, Lightning! (LIGHTNING, with his hair still white, looks down at Zoey) Lightning: You call that a dive? Watch this! (Prepares to dive) Sha-ugh! (Gets booted off by Chef’s foot) Chris: Bubble-Boy brainiac, Cameron. (Chef holds CAMERON by his hoodie) Cameron: This is highly illogical! (Chef tosses Cameron out the door) Chris: Official gamer mindness, Sam. (Chef carries SAM over his shoulders) Sam: Not (Chef glares and drops Sam) coooooooool. Chris: Private Pants-Wetter, Brick! (BRICK scoots to the door) DIVE FOR IT, MAGGOT!!! Brick: (Salutes) SIR! YES, SIR! (Dives without protest) Chris: Challenge throwing dirt farmer, Scott! (SCOTT out of the trauma chair from season 4 clings to Chef’s leg in fear. Until Chef pries him off and tosses him out. Chef walks back and grabs DAWN) Chris: aura-reading beetle whisperer, Dawn. Dawn: (Looks back at Chef before he can toss her out) you felt unloved as a child, you poor soul. (Chef’s eyes dart back and forth, then he hastily tosses her out. Rushes back in, dragging ANNE MARIA by her arms) Chris: tan-in-a-can helmet-head, Anne Maria, who gave up a MILLION DOLLARS for a phony diamond! Anne Maria: (Scowling) if my hair get’s messed up, you’re getting a beat down, Chris! (Chef tosses her out) Chris: Princess non-liked take on stars, Dakota. (DAKOTA, she is normal at Chef throw away) Dakota: Hey! Let me,, Gooooo. Sam: I got you Dakota. (Sam save Dakota at the helicopter) Chris: Bossy bruiser, Jo, who dominated until her underling turned on her. (JO resists Chef shoving her out, and shoves him back) Jo: You're a dead man, McLean! (Chef body-slams her off the copter) Chris: (Chuckles evilly) And, from the original cast... Cranky know-it-all CIT, Courtney! (Chef walks out, carrying COURTNEY by her ankle) Courtney: This is not in my contract! (Chef glares and drops Courtney) Chris: Courtney's bestie turned boyfriend stealer, Gwen! (Chef carries GWEN over his shoulders, tosses her down too) Gwen: (Free-falling) He said he wasn't her boyfriend at the tiiime! Chris: Broody bad boy, Duncan. Duncan: (Free-falling, not even looking like he cares) Bring it on! Chris: Devious Diva, Heather! Heather: (Free-falling) I hate Chriiiis! Chris: Evil person from the Total Drama Freaks, Al. Alejandro: (Free-falling) My name is Alejandro! Chris: Musican with a crazy number nine obsession, Trent! Trent: (Free-falling) It's just my quirrrkkk! Chris: Big fat loss woman, Leshawna! Leshawna: (Free-falling) I'll shall take this season right on target! Chris: Loveable lamebrain, Lindsay. Lindsay: (Free-falling, flapping her arms) I'm flying! (Stops flapping and screams) Chris: dodge ball-dodging Cody-kisser, Noah. Noah: (Free-falling) once again, life throws me a big f- (a bowling ball is dropped on him, making him scream and fall faster) Chris: Super fan, Sierra! Total Drama's number one stalker- Uh, blogger! Sierra: For Cody! (Cannonballs, sending the other contestants scattering, and causing a slightly less massive splash) Chris: (with a more malicious grin) Feral freakshow, Ezekiel! (Chef drops EZEKIEL by his hoodie) Ezekiel: Hey, i just try to jump ooooooooout! Chris: (laughing) All right, Big fat's crazy girlfriend, Izzy. (IZZY, who is bitting Chef and tosses on) Chris: Surfer hot girl, Bridgette. (BRIDGETTE appears at the door.) Bridgette: OK I'm jump out! (Dives) Chris: Annoying Man host of Aftermath, Geoff! (Appears could be GEOFF who is jump out to the helicopter) Geoff: Wooohoooo! (Jumps) Chris: Duty geek-nerd, Harold. (HAROLD appear, when Chef tosses and he scream) Chris: Scary, short-temper, Eva! (EVA appear too when she jump and dive) Chris: Super star contestant, (Chef walks out, carrying BLAINELEY by her ankle) who being ruined my show, Blaineley! Blaineley: Chris McLean, you are bitch! (Chef glares and drops Blaineley) Chris: The big man scared to be curses, DJ! (Chef is trying punshing DJ out of the helicopter.) DJ: Aww crap (Chef pusing out), Woah! Chris: 300-pound bag of farts and fun, and first ever Total Drama Winner, Owen! (Chef tries to shove OWEN through the door) Owen: for the love of Monte-Cristo! Don’t make me jump again! (Chef holds what looks like a cattle prod) hey is that a cattle prod? (Chef jabs him in the butt with the prod, making him inadvertently jump and scream in pain) Duncan: INCOMING FART BOMB!! (The contestants scatter before Owen lands in the water, causing a gigantic splash) Chris: (sighs happily) Man, it's great to be back! (Cut to the coast of the beach, everyone washed up on shore groaning in pain, except Owen)